Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Oh I am such a bad parent!

I have got the shutters on my front windows closed. I am pretty sure CPS has me under surveillance and I don't want them peeking in. This time though, I know full well that it was my own parenting that got me into this predicament.

Did I go too far?

Every child has their issues. Yes, even my perfect little munchkins forget to do things that they know that they should or shouldn't be doing. For Ainsley, the issue is eating candy. She eats too much. We all know that. For Graham - well - I take that back, Graham is perfect. He is flawless. Forget about him. But, Sydney, whoa, she has some issues. (You know I am kidding, right?) Regardless, she does have a few issues and it seems it was hers that led me down this path.

You see, last night after dinner she was complaining about a red mark on her forehead. Yes, even at the tender age of 9 she has somehow already developed the girly obsession of physical perfection. Flawless alabaster skin is important to her and she is always asking us about how much we notice certain perceived imperfections. Generally, these are always redness and usually a result of her rubbing them. There is never anything else that is discernible.

So, anyway, last night she inquired about a red blotch on her forehead. It was barely noticeable - so much so, that, to this very moment, I have doubts that anything truly existed. Regardless, during our discussion I noticed that her teeth were dirty. While I am sure this was a direct result of the dinner she just finished, it was certainly complicated by her lack of brushing. Getting her to brush is like pulling teeth (even the threat of it seems not to work.) It is her issue. Every child has one and Sydney falls victim to not brushing enough.


When she asked me about her forehead, her teeth were on my mind. I told her the mark on her forehead was because she wasn't brushing her teeth. She looked at me inquisitively. In the most strraight faced manner a could muster I told her "seriously, go ask your mother." She did and guess what? Lynley backed me up. "You bet Sydney, the mark on your forehead is like an indicator light. You haven't been brushing your teeth."

Hook, line and sinker.

We had her. The next thing we knew she was upstairs brushing her teeth.

Before bed she asked if the mark was gone. Seeing her teeth were fresh and clean I assured her that it was. She went to sleep happily.

Now, you may think Sydney is gullible. She is a bit. When I told her the word "gullible" was not in the dictionary she looked it up. It turned out I was right. Gullible isn't in the dictionary. I can prove it. Look it up here.

Yes, I know, I am going to hell. But, that is only if CPS doesn't get me first.

Purpose is just like a cat, there is always more than one way to skin them.

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