Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Deep thoughts...

Good morning! It looks like I have made all of the announcements of which I am required. I am now back in the good graces of my blushing bride for highlighting Graham's toothlessness. I am still no closer to understanding tooth inflation or why 4 year olds find it so inherently necessary to lie, but none-the-less I still feel satisfactorily complete.

Hmmm. Satisfactorily complete without any answers.

I guess this realization is one of the gifts I received from the years of Sydney's treatment. I never really had an answer. I never knew for sure that we were in the right study or that we necessarily on the right arm of the study. Frankly, I never "knew" (and still don't) whether we would win the battle against neuroblastoma. I never knew what the answer was. I never understood how to cure Sydney's cancer. There were no answers.

What we had were plans and a direction. We had a map but no guarantee that once we got there we would find what we were looking for. What we had was a journey.

I have come to find out that life is mostly that way. Whether it is raising kiddos or a project at work. There are no guarantees. We have this kind of general sense of what needs to be done. We have a direction. Sometimes we have experience. Sometimes we have books to help guide us along the way. But, fundamentally, there are no guarantees. What we have is our best educated effort.

We just have to do our best.

Take in all of the things we know, learn all we can, and make our best effort.

I have come to find that I don't have to have everything or know anything to be complete.

I just need my family and a direction.

Isn't that what purpose is all about?

No comments: