Friday, May 8, 2009

Do we look that stupid?

Good morning! To this day, I am still utterly amazed at how stupid my kiddos think we are. Furthermore, it appears clears as day that they generally believe we have become more and more unintelligent with each and every twerp. It is apparently a double whammy of stupidity that we, as parents, have fallen into.

Ainsley was the last at the dinner table. There she sat with a pile of green beans. The deal with dinner is that you don't have to clean your plate. You have to try everything but you don't have to eat it if you don't like it. However, if you want to eat dessert, you have to clean your plate. The good news for the kiddos in our house is that we really don't ever give them foods that they truly don't like or can't eat. In fact, green beans, are a pretty awesome compromise - everybody likes them. Don't get me wrong. They aren't any one's favorite food but everyone eats them.

I tell you this to make the distinction. Ainsley had a pile of green beans on her plate but she simply didn't want to eat them. She wanted candy instead. She is clever. She waits until we are paying attention to something else and then sneaks up to put her plate on the kitchen counter and say "Can I have dessert?" She is hoping that we are so engaged with what we are doing that we will just say "yes" without checking her plate. Her strategy never fails. It is predictable - every day.

While I understand that in their eyes I am just a dunce parent, I must tell you that I do secretly have some level of cleverness. The minute she put her plate down, I paused my conversation with her mother and told her "No, you need to clean your plate if you want dessert." This lead to the usual complaint "I don't want to" which they honestly believe should hold weight in the clean your plate world.

It doesn't.

She grabbed her plate and went back towards the table. Lynley and I turned around and returned to our conversation. Within about 45 seconds she was back in front of us with a clean plate. "Daddy, I ate them all gone." To be honest, it was a bit hard to hear over the sound of rushing water from the toilet in the bathroom. I asked her where she hid them. She told us they were in her tummy. I walked into the bathroom. The toilet was still filling with water but there were no signs of green beans.

I decided to lie.

"Ainsley, there are green beans in the toilet. Why did you put them there?"

"I didn't, it was Graham."

"Ainsley, why did you throw your green beans in the toilet."

"I thought I ate them but I forgot."

She didn't get dessert and she wasn't very happy. All she ended up with some time in time out.

How can they possibly think that they could get away with this. Ainsley is our 3rd kiddo. How dumb does she they we are?

Apparently, very.

I guess I am stupid with purpose.

No comments: