Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The purpose hunter

Today I am feeling much better about the state of the world. It is amazing what kind of an effect good kiddo behavior can have on you. Yesterday Graham and Ainsley went to the water park. This had been prearranged. Sydney, however, did not get to go. Her behavior had been so poor the day before that we elected not to let her. This was just one of many punishments on the list. She had been punished severely for her transgressions. She also lost many of her favorite toys. She spent the majority of the day in her room and was left out of just about everything she likes to do. Of course, these days of punishment (technically only about 28 hours) were also chock full of talking.

I still don't know what Sydney's issues are. I can tell you that she was the perfect picture of politeness and niceness yesterday. She clearly knows how to be good. Yet, I just don't understand how these episodes escalate into these screaming violent fits of rage. We need to learn how to recognize and how to turn it off before she boils over. Only then will we be able to teach her to do the same. To me it seems like it is relatively simple. We just have to learn when to grab the reigns and get her to snap back to reality. We have to catch it before the adrenalin really starts pumping all of this "illogic" through her brain.

So what is making her mad? Well, I don't know specifically. There is a pattern of her exhibiting this behaviour when she doesn't get what she wants. That is definitely part of the puzzle. There is another ingredient, however. Because, I can tell you for sure, she is usually not this way. She understands sharing. I am constantly amazed by her ability to share with her brother and sister. Furthermore, I can also ask her not to do something or tell her she can' do something and she is quite pleasant about it. There is some other trigger. Either these episodes are occurring because of a state of mind that she is already in or there is something that is adding fuel to the fire. I just don't know what it is.

I am happy to say, however, that yesterday was wonderful. She was a perfect princess. I will keep a close eye on her again today and look for clues. We will get to the bottom of this.

I am the purpose hunter.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Mark,

Although I have not quite experienced the same episodes as you're describing with Sydney, I have definetly had the "melt-down" and down-right disrespectful behavior with my children.

A book that was recommended to me, and one that I have read and really believe in is "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan.

It has simple, yet effective techniques.

I wanted to pass it along since I have found success with it.

Sasha German
Austin, Tx