Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Freakin' Christmas!?!?

First, please, don't forget to give up your lunch! It is the only way that we can fund this important clinical trial. We are depending on you and your friends! - https://LunchforaCure.org/donate.aspx

On another note, I am really surprised this Christmas. I have expected my children to be much better behaved. After all, Santa Claus could be looking at them at any given moment. Consider the fact that I have taken off the week from work to be with them and I can tell you first hand that I have witnessed Santa observing them and he is none too impressed.

My children will be receiving coal for Christmas.

I know, in light of last weeks events you may expect Santa to be soft. Perhaps he could understand the impact stress has put on their gentle psyches. But no, he has had it.

I really can't blame Graham and Ainsley too much. No, its seems that their not so benevolent leader is the instigator of their twerp revolt. They are just imitating the master. I know of no other way to put it. Sydney is pissed. (I know, sorry Grammy, but there is no better word to encapsulate her condition) She is pissed about waking up. She is pissed about eating breakfast. She is pissed about going to ninja day. She is pissed about going to the movies. In fact, I can't think of a single thing that Sydney is not pissed about.

So, the question is, why?

This certainly is not Sydney. While I can tell you (probably even without getting hit) that, while she can have some of her mother's angst (her mother who is a beautiful, kind, intelligent and loving spouse and mother), she is generally a pretty happy little girl. There is a lot in life that she finds tremendous joy in. For instance, she loves crafts and she loves to read. She loves to play outside and she loves to cuddle with her daddy in the morning. There is usually a lot that she is happy about and the great thing about it is that it is simple things that seem to bring her the most joy.

Unfortunately, over the last week, none of that has been true. I would bet my house on the fact that this has something to do with our most recent set of scans. Unfortunately, she now speaks "girl," a language which I have a horrible time translating. In fact, I have found that my translations are often antonyms of the true definition. While I know this probably has something to do with fear and the fact that all of this is horribly unfair to her, I have no idea how to broach the subject with her.

As you can tell, I am a talker. I talk out my problems. Sydney is more like my blushing bride. They are thinkers. (BTW, this is no time to make sexist remarks about how much that makes sense considering the fact that I am male and all men talk before they think.)

Regardless, I just don't know how to bridge that gap. I don't know how to help her. I don't want to reward her fits and bad attitude but I also want her to know that I am here and that I want to understand.

Unfortunately, I just don't have the answer.

I would gladly take this purpose over the other but that does not mean I am any closer to the answer.

2 comments:

susy said...

Ah, give her a break. She is scared and that is how she is showing it. God Bless her and may there be 90 more Christmas in her lifetime.

Dawn Hart said...

Tell Sydney I love her and miss her very much. Dad, just keep loving her.